Crowned Queen of Colostrum

I wasn’t going to blog. I was going to stay in my baby cave, where my responsibilities center on pumping and sanitizing nipples (not mine, Dr. Brown’s). I’m pumping because Christopher has declared a state of independence. He’s his own man, won’t be attached to anyone’s chest. Won’t be called a mama’s boy. They tried […]

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Don’t Give Me That Stank Eye

I’m no longer nursing Eliot. It’s not because I’m a Victoria’s Secret model and need to maintain my perkiness. SPOILER ALERT: I’ll probably never even model lingerie for SEARS Automotive. Or Goodwill. I stopped nursing for several reasons, a combination of Eliot’s allergies and a strong desire to bronze my first Medela double breastpump.. As […]

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Um, Thank You But No

“You got to be kidding me.” These are the words of my father, a brave man. A man with a high-pitched voice that sounds like a rooster stroking its own throat mid-crow. A man who took me to liquor drive-thrus when I was a kid. Not for beer or wine, but for barbecue-flavored Grippo’s chips […]

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