I did the unthinkable. I bought Elie Mae a Halloween costume. I know, I know. I had planned to sew her the Confederate flag onesie and make her push a small cannon through the streets. I thought this perfect for an 11-month-old. Alas, I’ve been sucked into the microwave generation. I walked into Old Navy […]Read more "Why I Must Make Elie Mae’s Costume Myself"
Oh schnap. We got a callback from last week’s audition. Getting the news was sort of like getting baptized again—only this time the water was warm and I wasn’t wearing white underwear. As the good book sayeth, “He hath opened the heavens and rained down blessings upon the Umble.” The Hebrew word for blessings literally […]Read more "Don’t Call Me. I’ll Call You…Back."
DISCLAIMER: I did not sign up for this. Do I look like Sharon Leal to you? No, I don’t act. I took DRAMA 101 because I heard it was a gut. A few months ago, I told you about my trip with Eliot to a New York modeling agency. That mission was a FAIL, probably because […]Read more "No Take Five. Take Me Home."